Dear Starnes Family and Friends,I have never met Sam in person. And yet he was part of my daily life for a decade.
Back in the late 90s, I joined a forum group known as “System-Zero” (later known as “Shadow-Corp”). We were a rag-tag group of folks with a common interest in games, movies, anime, and music. This is where I first met Sam, who went by the handle “ShadowSavior”. I had no idea that back then he was in his early teens. He carried himself far better than people twice his age.
In 2007, the webmaster for System-Zero (Mina) announced that she would be shutting the forums down. At the time, my wife and I had a small hobby project called CoopGamer.com. We weren’t doing a whole lot with it, so with Mina’s blessing, I offered to be the new home for anybody that still wanted to keep in touch.
A handful of people came over, including Sam (who went by a new handle – “MadMaddy” and then later settled with “RiotterSham”). We were such a small group that it felt very much like a family. By the way, I never asked him exactly what his handles meant, but I figured I would mention them in case there is some personal meaning.
We continued the legacy of elitist reviews, bad jokes (according to Sam, his Dad loved these), social commentary, and personal tales of woe and victory.
On November 22nd, Sam told us about his pericardial infusion (and, bless his heart, apologized for his absence). Then, I kid you not, the very next line he went right into talking about the Beowulf movie.
On March 22nd, after a 2-week absence, Sam gave us the news about his cancer. It was heartbreaking, yet I was inspired by his positive words:
Anyways, I'm taking breaks from everything until the scars heal, and I thought you should know since I consider this place a second home. I'm going to live my life the best way I can and hope that I survive long enough for some good gaming. The best way to deal with pain is through humor, so when I finally go, I hope I can go laughing.
And finally, on March 24th, he posted his:
Thanks guys. I had a great morning yesterday. I sat on the porch, ate an apple, watched the weather, and listened to "The Moonbeam Song" by Harry Nillison. Greatest morning ever. Seriously. It was one of those moments where I felt proud to live in Texas.
Also, music cures everything. This is a fact, and anyone who says otherwise is WRONG.
This was the last post he made for us. I figured he just needed time to heal up and so I left him alone and awaited his return.
My wife and I had our first child on June 13th and basically those first seven months went by like a blur. In January I sent Sam an email to see how he was doing and the email got bounced back.
It was then that I searched more and found memoryofsam.com. I was crushed. I read all of the articles on the site with tear-soaked eyes. And I saw Sam’s face for the first time (I would love to see more pictures if you would be so kind). Lee, I can’t thank you enough for creating this place for us to remember Sam. It brought me closure. It brought me perspective. And it brought me to all of you.
It takes a special kind of person to have such an impact on people he’d never even met. Someone both quirky and clever. Confident, yet friendly. Someone you’d look forward to hearing from every day and feel an empty spot in his absence.
More importantly, someone who showed nothing but courage while facing insurmountable odds. I don’t know if he did it through genuine optimism and strength or to save us from pain and worry. Maybe both. But in any case, he is my hero.
Sam, you have family that cares about you so deeply – not just your immediate family, but us in your “extended” family as well.
We miss you so very much, but are blessed for the time we were lucky enough to have with you.
I don’t know what goes on after this life. But I like to imagine, Sam, that you are kicking everyone’s butt at Street Fighter IV in that great arcade in the sky. Give ‘em a Dragon Punch for me, ol’ buddy.
Your friend always,
Mark
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